Part 2
Part 3
40: Ghost Rider
Guilty of: Considered corny and weak, especially regarding the acting.
What I say: While this story could have been substantially darker and more intense (something that the Spirit of Vengeance sequel did a little better), Ghost Rider has its share of coolness. It’s hard not to appreciate a flaming skeleton riding a motorcycle, for both its special effects and gothic appeal. The story is pretty light and fluffy, but it never really drags, and is generally fun.
My score: 4/5
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39: Chronicles of Riddick
Guilty of: Nothing like Pitch Black, and therefore disappointing.
What I say: Yeah, Pitch Black is great and all, especially in the way it introduces Riddick, the wicked serial killer who goes from being the antagonist to the protagonist. But heck, I’ll take the sequel over the first film any day. Pitch Black dragged a lot for me; Chronicles of Riddick ramps up the action and adventure to a level that’s always appealed to me a lot better. It’s finally a chance to unleash all of Riddick’s potential as an action hero, and he succeeds tremendously. Except for the choppy editing, I do love the look and style of the movie. For me, it’s a very satisfying piece of fantastic sci-fi, and I’m grateful that it took a different direction rather than just going through more of the same.
My score: 4/5
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38: Clash of the Titans (2010)
Guilty of: Considered to have a weak script, plot, and production value.
What I say: Although this remake carbon-copies a lot from the original film, I believe it’s more successful at being tighter, more entertaining, and more fantastic. All of the epic moments – the scorpion fight, the Medusa fight, the releasing of the Kraken – are bigger and awesome. The drama between the main character and the gods adds an interesting new dynamic to things. Overall, a satisfying mythic adventure, even if it does feel light and a little shallow.
My score: 4/5
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37: Showtime
Guilty of: Just another buddy-cop movie, nothing special.
What I say: Just another buddy-cop movie, but it feels special to me, thanks to its often-amusing comedy, which is brought to life perfectly by the cast and their chemistry. It’s a blast to watch Eddie Murphy and Robert DeNiro’s interactions. Having some really spectacular action scenes help too.
My score: 3.5/5
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36: Battleship
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| B-5! Miss! |
Guilty of: Loud, stupid, poorly written, formulaic.
What I say: Yeah, this film is pretty stupid, full of unlikable characters, and is a weak story. But heck, stupidity has never been so fun! Once the action hits, it’s practically non-stop, and it is pretty darn awesome to watch these battleships and alien ships blasting each other to hell. The action here is about as strong and impressive as a Michael Bay film. Comedy, intention and unintentional, make it a real hoot too.
My score: 3/5
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35: Van Helsing
Guilty of: Hollow, overblown, cheesy.
What I say: Probably the ultimate Halloween movie…the fun type, not the scary or intense type. The cheese might be overbearing, as is the action, but it is a tightly-packed thrill ride with tons of excitement and style. Special effects were impressive for its time (hasn’t really aged as well since). For a movie that crams in so many battles and brawls with Dracula, Frankenstein, werewolves, vampires, and even Mr. Hyde, this is as definitive of a monster mash as we’ll get!
My score: 3/5
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34: Heavy Metal
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| Flying mount, ftw! |
Guilty of: Considered juvenile, dated, potentially sexist.
What I say: It’s a pretty weird type of sci-fi and fantasy, but a type that doesn’t seem to get enough attention on film. Coming from the ever-awesome Heavy Metal magazines, this film brings a few of the stories to life with decent (albeit somewhat gaudy, cheesy, and dated) animation quality. This anthology of stories offers plenty of thrilling pulp and adult-oriented fantasy, but will be most memorable for its final segment, which showcases the iconic leather-clad chick riding a dragon and holding up a sword. It’s an image that appeals to me a lot: a primal and raw portrayal of danger, brutality, and beauty all at once.
My score: 4/5
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33: Dante’s Peak
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| Another fine model is destroyed. |
Guilty of: Incredulous story, bad writing, same old disaster movie spiel.
What I say: A few scenes are stupid (kids made some stupid moves, no way can a truck drive on lava). Regardless, I always felt the story’s finer points outweigh the unbelievable parts. First and foremost, this is still the most realistic depiction of volcanoes on film: the way the film shows the flooding, earthquakes, lava flows, and ultimately the pyroclastic clouds is plausible and scientifically sound. The characters are relatable and their drama is intense (even if it is a little contrived). Of course, the action is spectacular: the model work (despite being a little fake-looking now) is phenomenal, and the sheer mass destruction is incredible.
My score: 4/5
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32: The Lost World: Jurassic Park
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| Do not feed the T-Rexes! |
Guilty of: Weak story, considered inferior to the original. Annoying characters.
What I say: As much fun as the first film is, I always felt this sequel had bigger and better action and adventure sequences. The dinosaur hunts, the cliff-hanging trailer scene, the raptor fights, and the final scenes with the T-Rex rampaging across San Diego have always thrilled me. The special effects and dinosaur designs were refined really well by this point. The story and characters have their moments, and the comedy can be surprisingly amusing. Despite all its absurdity, The Lost World always felt as good of an experience as its predecessor for me personally.
My score: 4/5
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31: Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005)
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| Romantic activities of the modern couple. |
Guilty of: Too much action and style, poor writing.
What I say: Action is pretty awesome here, but as it is with a few other flicks listed here, this is one of those movies I feel is pretty mellow. I watch this more for its smooth style, the chemistry of the actors (which is great), and the dry comedy, with the action as a mere bonus. I feel it’s an exquisite and satisfying mixture of style, substance, and entertainment.
My score: 4/5
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30: Pearl Harbor
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| One box office bomb, coming up! |
Guilty of: Bad dialogue and writing, hokey romance, tries too hard to be serious and sentimental. At its worst, waters down the tragedy of the Pearl Harbor bombings as a flashy blockbuster, and is therefore considered disrespectful.
What I say: While its weaknesses can’t be fully ignored, I can honestly say that none of them bothered me one bit. I’ve always loved Pearl Harbor, not only for its spectacular action, but also for its gorgeous photography, endearing characters, and strong attention to detail. Even though the production is highly-polished and some liberties are taken, the filmmakers did incorporate a lot of historic fact (interviews and documentaries on the film’s DVDs do provide some accounts from actual war veterans that were indeed shown in the film). Film and history buffs may favor Tora! Tora! Tora! as the definitive Pearl Harbor film, but I personally prefer the warmth, flash, and romanticism of Pearl Harbor. An R-rated cut of this film is available with something like 60 extra shots of material: it’s not much, but it does make the war scenes much more brutal.
My score: 4/5
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29: Twister
Guilty of: Generic plot and characters.
What I say: Like with most other films here, I never saw much wrong with Twister. I naturally always did enjoy the actual twister scenes, with their fun special effects and sequences of destruction. I think the characters were likable and endearing, and their drama really drove the story on a deeper level. It helped raise the stakes to the point where I actually cared about the plot, and thus I’ve always enjoyed it immensely. Fun side characters and some humor help too.
My score: 4/5
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28: Toys
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| I need one of these for our office. |
Guilty of: Overbearing morals, shallow and heartless, weak plot and story
What I say: I’ve always found Toys charming in every way. The visuals are charming, especially in the way it creates optical illusions. The humor is charming, especially with Robin Williams’ antics and jokes. The story and characters are charming. In spite of all this, I never saw much wrong with this film, and was quite surprised by all the negative reviews.
My score: 4/5
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27: The Fantastic 4
Guilty of: Considered goofy and mediocre.
What I say: Every time I’ve seen this film, I had a blast. Certainly not as deep or rewarding as The Dark Knight or anything, but among the early wave of Marvel heroes, The Fantastic 4 felt ambitious and rewarding in its own right. It captured the perfect blend of humor, action, and spectacle that makes superhero films fun to begin with. It’s the perfect combination that I’d personally associate with the F4. The characters are a hoot to watch, especially with their dysfunctional-family dynamics. I dug the story. With the crazy superpowers and explosive action, I’ve always considered this one of the funnest superhero movies of the lot.
My score: 4/5
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26: Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
Guilty of: Considered dull.
What I say: I’ve always had mixed feelings for the first Tomb Raider film: I wanted to like it, but its style and narrative got in the way. I much prefer this second one: it’s a simple, light, straightforward adventure with some really cool action scenes and stuntwork. Pacing is tight, and hardly a moment goes by that doesn’t entertain me. I consider just about everything in this sequel to be a vast improvement over the first film.
My score: 4/5
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25: Event Horizon
Guilty of: Considered unsophisticated, messy plot and characters, all style no substance, generally considered stupid.
What I say: First and foremost, Event Horizon has a forbidding style and production design unlike any other. Looking like something straight out of a Doom or Quake video game, the settings and locales look incredibly bleak and oppressive, giving the film the perfect atmosphere and visual look. When I first saw the film and understood its premise, it gave me chills, thanks largely to the visuals and presentation. While the acting can be quite cheesy, I enjoyed the characters, as much as I enjoyed the plot. It’s not Solaris by any means, but at least Event Horizon entertains (and maybe even scares a little).
My score: 4/5
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24: Creepshow 2
Guilty of: Only three stories? What a gip! Considered cheap and inferior to the original.
What I say: To me, this anthology of stories has always gone hand-in-hand with the first film. Granted that the first Creepshow had more stories of a particularly wicked and original persuasion, I’ve always found the stories in this sequel just as entertaining and rewarding. For the longest time, The Raft was my favorite of the lot: it’s pretty gnarly and intense to watch these stupid teenagers getting picked off by a blob floating in a lake. The Hitchhiker is pretty wicked too, and Old Chief Wood’nhead has its moments. Sure, they’re all a little cheesy, but cheese has always been the special ingredient of Stephen King’s and George A Romero’s works.
My score: 4.5/5
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23: Conquest of the Planet of the Apes
Guilty of: Too bleak, too angry, too violent, incredulous, has a gutless ending.
What I say: As a piece of dystipian sci-fi, and a Planet of the Apes prequel, Conquest is phenomenal. I love how raw and uncompromising most of it is, and how rough and sterile it makes the future look. Above all, I always had a blast watching Caesar and his army rising up against their oppressors. On Blu-Ray, I was pleased to see a more radical cut of the film, which has even more violence, and an ending that eschews the theatrical cut’s happy ending in favor of something far more brutal.
My score: 4.5/5
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22: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
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| Emancipate this! |
Guilty of: Nothing like the novel. Uneven pacing. For a movie with such a ridiculous premise, it plays things so straight that it’s never funny.
What I say: The story is quite uneven, as it seems to jump over entire years of events in such a short time. However, I wound up feeling pleased with how tightly-paced the film is. The biggest standout here will be the action, which is frequent, really cool, incredibly fantastic, and generally a blast to watch. The original novel did a top-notch job of weaving the vampire slayings with Lincoln’s biography; even though the film doesn’t follow the book one bit, it is successful at taking itself seriously enough so that the average, unassuming, laid-back audience (like myself) can take the movie and all its silliness seriously. It probably could have worked better as a tongue-in-cheek self-parody, but it still wouldn’t have been anything like the book; what we get is a fun little dose of stylized action. It helps that the acting isn’t too bad either.
My score: 3.5/5
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21: Priest
Guilty of: Dull, derivative, convoluted plot, clichéd.
What I say: I generally agree that there’s a ton of stuff wrong with this film: the plot makes little sense, characters aren’t that strong, and it seems like a billion clever ideas were crammed together and mixed up randomly. Still, the film is immensely entertaining: the action is really bloody awesome, with loads of fights and loud battles and really cool special effects. It helps that there are a few clever ideas buried beneath the film’s slick veneer.
My score: 3/5
To be continued...
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