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Wednesday, 3 October 2012

Film Review: BloodRayne

Posted on 22:00 by john mickal
"Your form is weak, lacking passion!" - Michelle Rodriguez

I never expected anything great or smart or even coherent out of this. I went into it totally blind, wanting nothing more than a cheap and cheesy B-movie with lots of sex appeal and lots of blood and gore. And you know what? The film delivered! There are really only a couple of reasons to watch this film: for the incredible blood and gore effects (which are fantastic in the unrated cut, but incredibly subdued in the original theatrical version) and for Kristanna Lokken's performance, of which I am particularly fond of.

This film has earned its name as one of the all-time worst films ever made for a few good reasons though. First and foremost, it has absolutely nothing to do with the original video game. The game pitted the titular dhampir against Nazis during WWII, to find some Atlantean artifact and fight monsters and vampires...this movie throws it all out the window and just has Rayne in the Dark Ages embarking in a simple revenge story. It does little-to-no justice to its source material. Even on its own merits, the film is hobbled together with seemingly-random scenes, some of which could have been cut entirely. The best that can be said is that the story is serviceable; it's coherent enough to follow the characters and the action, but it is riddled with plot holes, inconsistencies, and frivolous scenes.

As far as the film itself goes, the single most redeeming value will be its photography; despite a few shakey-cam scenes, the camera work is pretty solid at times. Acting is atrocious; I read that Michael Madsen was drunk when they filmed this, and it shows. Michelle Rodriguez puts on her standard tough-girl act, Matthew Davis offers some horrid line delivery, Meat Loaf offers a strange and frivolous cameo, it's hard to take Billy Zane seriously in anything he does, and even Ben Kingsley shows weakness as a flat and emotionally-void villain. The only bright spots here will be Michael Pare and Kristanna Lokken, who still contributes to the pool of bad acting with some bad dialogue and some incredibly weak-looking fight choreography. I only give her a pass, partly because she offers some decent sex appeal here, but mostly because I like the expressions and her mannerisms as Rayne (much unlike Natassia Malthe, who does manage to be more physically appealing, but plays it so tough that she becomes unlikable). Writing is terrible across the board; lines are simple and stupid, and their deliveries are often weak. This production does have some really wicked blood and gore effects. Sets, props, and costumes generally get the job done, but aren't terribly great either. Special effects are pretty bad. Music is alright.

As Uwe Boll's third video-game adaptation, he pretty much strikes out (and strangely, never does give up the game). Chances are that you may watch all his movies and find them "so bad they're good," but most will just dismiss them as "so bad they're bad." In the case of BloodRayne, it is indeed a bad film and a missed opportunity for making a quality game adaptation (somewhat redeemed with BloodRayne: The Third Reich, but even that's pretty trashy). As it is, BloodRayne comes down as one of my ultimate choices for a guilty pleasure, since it is rather entertaining with its frivolous sex and violence, but most other viewers will not be so easily appeased.

2.5/5 (Entertainment: Good | Story: Poor | Film: Very Poor)
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Posted in action, B-movies, bad movies, Ben Kingsley, Billy Zane, BloodRayne, epic, fantasy, film review, horror, Kristanna Lokken, Meat Loaf, Michael Madsen, Michael Pare, Michelle Rodriguez, movie review, Uwe Boll, video game | No comments
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